Happy birthday...

Selamat hari lahir mr. Dark Knight aka Mr. Patriot...

Semoga panjang umur dan murah rezeki selalu.

Semoga segala urusan dipermudahkan.

Semoga kegembiraan dan kebahagiaan sentiasa mengiringi perjalanan hidup awak.

Dan semoga awak sentiasa dibawah rahmatNya..

A Closure

A few words....



Hope were given... or maybe I get my hope high..
Dreaming on and on...
No words had been exchange.. but still, I thought the deeds mean something...
I thought....



Ahad, on the way from home...
Scrolling down my IG...
Saw the stories...
First picture - girl atas pelamin with kawan2, caption: tahniah.
Second picture - man atas pelamin yang sama, caption: terima kasih pada semua yang hadir....


I could hear my heart break into pieces....
Untuk kesekian kalinya...



Typing.... TAHNIAH.. send...
And no reply till today....




I dont know what I feel...
Kejap macam sedih, kejap macam okay.
haih....



But I guess, I got what i've been waiting right...
A closure...
For all my hopes...
For all my dreams... of me and you....






Kalau dulu, it took me 3 years...
Untuk kali ni, berapa lama pulak?

Ogos..

Assalamualaikum.
Hello there...



Well, I guess I feel like to write again...
Before Ogos berakhir.
I love August...
Always..
And will forever love this month.
It is really special for me.



Happy bornday NJ.
Hehe..
Tahun ni dah melangkah ke angka 3.
Makin tua wei.
Hahahaha...
Terima kasih kepada yang wish..
Terima kasih jugak untuk semua doa.
Tq for the cake and flower.
Well...Takdelah banyak..but I do appreciate each of it.
I do.

And thanks to u...wish my birthday even lambat 3 hari.


He asked me, 'Macam mana nak stop kan angka tu?'
I guess I don't have the answer.
But I never want it to stop..
Because it could mean we die...kan?
Plus, I don't mind getting old.
It is the process of life.
Kang kalau tak tua tua, orang kata kita membela pulak kan?
Hehehe..



You know, once...I told mak..
'orang kalau tak kahwin lagi umur 30, nak amik anak angkat la,'
Mak senang je jawab, 'bukan senang bela anak,'
And now I know and realise it.
Mak betul..
dengan keadaan aku sekarang...kewangan, emosi dan mental..I am not ready to have that commitment yet.
But I do want my own child..
I am...
it just maybe not now...



Umur dah banyak...what have I achieve?
I got my Masters...apa lagi?
Dah ada lesen memandu even tak drive... hahaha..
My temper dah cool down a bit.. walaupun orang masih cakap aku garang..
hehe..
I have my aininoon cheesecake..which I am really proud of it. REALLY.
I could buy my 'wants' sendiri...tak mintak orang.. hehe
I own my electrical appliances sendiri.. ni pon kira pencapaian kan? haha
Tu je kot.
I dont know...


kadang kadang bila duduk sorang sorang, banyak benda fikir.
Especially bila perasan umur meningkat.
Lagi suka stay kat rumah..
Lagi suka abaikan perkara yang dulu rasa penting...
Makin suka bersendiri....
Tu tanda penuaan ke?
Hahahaha...


Selalu je jiran and students tanya..
Bila nak kahwin.
Even, masa wish besday pon... soalan tu keluar jugak..
Hahaha..
Boleh tak jawab, tanya la Allah...He plan all for me?
Boleh ke?
hahaha



Sape tak nak kahwin kan.
Tapi kita dahulukan adik la.
Hehe..
Penat menaruh harapan when end up we got disappointed.
Bukan tak ada kawan kawan nak kenalkan, tapi takut.
Kalau benda sama berulang, I just don't know if I can handle it again...
Let just say, I have my faith in Allah and I know He plan the best for me.
Kan?



Thats all my merepek.
Take care...
Till next entry, who knows when it will be.



xoxo,
NJ